Talking to a Child about Their Cancer Diagnosis
Few conversations with your child are as daunting as discussing a cancer diagnosis. At the same time that you want to focus all of your care and energy on comforting and supporting your child, you’re dealing with the emotional impact of this new reality. This post aims to support you and possibly relieve some of this pressure as you find new ways to help your child adjust.
Understand your Child’s Perspective
Understanding your child's perspective is paramount when discussing their cancer diagnosis. Children's perceptions of health and illness differ vastly from those of adults. Their comprehension is shaped by numerous factors, including their age, developmental stage, and previous experiences with sickness and health. As you approach this conversation, bear these factors in mind, ensuring that your dialogue is suited to their level of understanding.
Prepare Yourself
Before embarking on this challenging conversation, it's essential to adequately prepare yourself. The situation is emotionally charged, and managing your own feelings is a crucial part of the process. This might involve seeking emotional support from a counselor, therapist, or support group.
Gather Accurate and Clear Information
Gather accurate and clear information about your child's diagnosis and treatment plan. Children are naturally curious and will likely have numerous questions. Being equipped with correct information will help you answer their queries effectively and honestly. Choose a calm, comfortable environment for the conversation, ensuring there's ample time for discussion. When speaking with your child’s doctors and other healthcare professionals, you most likely focused on the information they provided on care and treatments. They may also have valuable insights into how to communicate with your child about upcoming challenges.
Keep it Simple
Approaching the conversation requires a balance of honesty and simplicity. Begin by explaining that the child is unwell and requires special medical care. Using clear, simple language, outline what the diagnosis means. It's important to be honest, but also considerate of the child's emotional state.
It’s tempting to provide your child with lots of positive ideas, hoping to drown out the negativity of the situation. Balance this with the fact that they can only process so much at one time.
Feelings First
Addressing the child's emotions is equally as important as explaining their medical condition. Children will experience a wide variety of emotions. No two children’s response will be the same. Let them know that these feelings are normal and expected in their situation. Validate their feelings. Encourage them to express their emotions freely, ask questions, and voice any concerns or fears they might have.
Keep the Conversation Going
After the initial conversation, it's important to maintain open lines of communication. Reassure your child that they can approach you with further questions or concerns at any time. Children may not fully comprehend the gravity of the situation in a single conversation, so be prepared for further discussions. Additionally, pay close attention to their behavior in the following days and weeks. Children may express their stress, fear, or misunderstanding through their actions rather than their words.
Support is Available for You and Your Child
Seek professional help if necessary. Therapists or counselors specializing in pediatric oncology can provide crucial support, helping your child process their emotions and deal with the psychological impact of their diagnosis. These professionals can also support you as a parent, providing tools and strategies to help your child cope.
Consider reaching out to support networks, such as local or online communities of parents going through similar experiences. These groups can offer invaluable advice, comfort, and understanding. You can learn from their experiences and even share your own, creating a nurturing environment of mutual support.